Friends don't let friends take home ugly men Women's restroom Starboard, Dewey Beach, DE
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Beauty is only a light switch away. Perkins Library, Duke University, Durham, NC |
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If life is a waste of time, and time is a waste of life, then let's all get
wasted together and have the time of our lives. Armand's Pizza, Washington, DC |
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Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. The Bayou, Baton Rouge , LO |
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No matter how good she looks, some other guy is sick and tired of putting up
with her CRAP. Men's Room Linda's Bar and Grill, Chapel Hill , NC |
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At the feast of ego everyone leaves hungry. Bentley's House of Coffee and Tea, Tucson, AZ |
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It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere. Written in the dust on
the back of a bus, Wickenburg, AZ |
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Make love, not war. -Hell, do both GET MARRIED! Women's restroom The Filling Station,
Bozeman, MT |
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If voting could really change things, it would be illegal. Revolution Books New York , New
York . |
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If pro is opposite of con,then what is the opposite of progress? Congress! Men's restroom House of
Representatives, Washington , DC |
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Express Lane: Five beers or less Sign over one of the urinals Ed Debevic's, Phoenix, AZ |
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You're too good for him. Sign over mirror in Women's restroom Ed Debevic's, Beverly Hills ,CA |
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No wonder you always go home alone. Sign over mirror in Men's restroom, Ed Debevic's, Beverly
Hills ,CA |
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~~~ and perhaps the most realistic one ~~~ |
A Woman's Rule of Thumb: If it has tires or testicles, you're going to have
trouble with it Women's restroom Dick's Last Resort, Dallas, TX |
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A man will pay $20 for a $10 item he needs.
A woman will pay $10
for a $20 item that she doesn't need. _____________________________
GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
A woman worries about the future until she
gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is
one who can find such a man. _____________________________
To be happy with a man, you
must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all. ______________________________
Married men live longer
than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die. ______________________________
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does. _____________________________
A woman has the last word in
any argument.
Anything
a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument. _____________________________ HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING
MARRIED
Old
aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackli ng, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after
I started do ing the same thing to them at funerals.
SEND THIS TO A SMART WOMAN WHO NEEDS A LAUGH AND TO THE SMART GUYS YOU KNOW CAN HANDLE IT.
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